Curiosity is lying in wait for every secret. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
People keep secrets from themselves. There must be secrets involved, or everyone would be living to their full potential. For example, do you have the answer that will unlock the way to get from point A to point B in your life, or have you figured out how to make a bigger difference, live large, or simply relax?
The answers to these desires are within you. No one else has them. It is through curiosity that a listening coach helps you find your way down a mental or emotional path that you have not found on your own. Curiosity is the art of communication mining, in search of golden answers.
Seize the moment of excited curiosity on any subject to solve your doubts; for if you let it pass, the desire may never return, and you may remain in ignorance. ~ William Wirt
As adults, curiosity, especially about our own lives, wanes. Yet, these quotes point to the richness within this true desire to know, understand, and be, more. It is true that when we meet someone who seems fascinated by who we are, what we do, and what is important to us, we feel a connection to them. Their curiosity about us is a gift that feels good to receive.
Of course, being nosy is different. So is being asked questions to conclude what will help “fix” whatever bothers you. As Nancy Willard (children’s author and poet) said, sometimes questions are more important than answers, this is because curious questions help us think differently about our perspectives.
Here are some examples of curious questions:
What will taking the next step give you?
What do you want to know that you don’t know today?
What’s another choice you could make besides the two in front of you?
How do you suppose it will all work out?
What resources do you need to decide?
Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will. ~ James Stephens
How do you suppose that works for what you’re up against? I’ve seen clients who feel dissatisfied, but afraid to get to the bottom of things, do so by following the thread of curious questions. It is easier to take the lead on another’s questions—to see where that line of thinking takes you—than to try and jump the crevasse of the unknown with pure bravery alone.
Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers. ~ Voltaire
Just as listening can be more important than talking, it is our questions that are more helpful than our answers. This is because my answer for you may not fit any better than walking in my shoes. You have your own best answers. It is the work of the questions to help you find them.
Mark Twain said, Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do… Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
To me, this is the perfect example of how curiosity comes into play with coaching. It is about leaving the safe harbor of the status quo. It is about finding what ideas catch the wind in your sails to take you to another level of fulfillment and joy. Exploration, dreams, and discovery would be nothing without the motivation of curiosity.
What are you curious to discover in your own life?
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